Focus on the Healing, not the Act

Focus on the Healing, not the Act

Grab a cuppa; this is a long post, but one that merits the length and could ultimately launch another book...

Many of us have had at some point in our life when somebody has 'done us wrong'. The wrong creates pain, a rawness, a hurt so deep it seems like it will never go away.

Then we see folks living the life. How dare they! While not really upset that they are happy, but this witnessing of joy and love seem to rub salt deeper in the wounds that are now festering within. These wounds can leave an invisible scar that nobody will truly see but you. However this scar does become noticeable in our actions.

We can become bitter.

We can become angry.

We can lash out when triggered by similar situations.

It happens. I believe it has happened to us all; if we are honest with ourselves. Me included. 

It's when we keep the pain repressed in an effort to move on that it can gurgle, bubble and yes fester until something or someone pokes a pin-size hole in it. Then it acts as lava spreading widely and quickly through our words and actions leaving all in its wake in a state of quasi confusion.

If we are lucky to never get it pin pricked, we may ultimately develop a physical malady; ulcer, depression or worse. 

It's at this point it is more of a 911 emergency of the energy arena. It's time to sit within or with a trusted healer/coach to help coax it out to see the light of day. Allowing you be in sacred space to feel safe to yell, scream, berate, cry and curse. This is all part of the cleansing. Once spent physically, we are more apt to listen and act upon the healing aspect of this thing. The cleansing allows the forgiving and healing to commence.

We can better understand where the pain originates; the loss, the betrayal, the abandonment, etc. The list is endless of the various wounds and how we have incurred them; divorce, death, child support, lack of support, abandonment of parents, rape, incest, abuse shall I go on?

Bad stuff unfortunately does happen. It sucks when it does. Truly. 

I know victims who overcame.

I know victims who still identify as the victim. 

I know.

Since this post is about healing and forgiveness, we shall focus there. I will pull from the angelic guidance as well as what I have witnessed. Actually it may be a mix of both; let's see how this goes.

For those that truly overcame, they could still get highly agitated when confronted by that person or situation, but they recognized it for what it was and held their tongue and processed. They went on to become self sufficient, debt free and in very loving relationships where they were truly supported and honored. Their life flourished for they were honoring who they were. Those that stayed victim became more hardened and shut down to life and all it could offer them. Their circle of friends became smaller and as a result they also became more cynical.

Those that persevered embraced life again and found a snippet here and a snippet there that made them smile. Those snippets turned into moments. Those moments into minutes and so on. They learned tools such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, boxing etc. that helped get them out of the zone and into living. 

Life is about balance. We aren't designed to suffer and suffer beautifully as in some gothic novel. We are designed to live life to the fullest as only we can. It's up to us to decide to live in love or live in victimhood.

It starts within. By deciding. Once a decision is made to live, situations begin to offer themselves to be embraced to take life back. We can decide to embrace them or push them away.

However, the more life is embraced, the more we can find joy within it all. We begin to heal in those moments. In those moments of BEing we see the possibilities of what life can BE. We then yearn to heal, but know forgiveness is paramount to the healing. We CHOSE to forgive so we may heal.

Chat with Raphael, The Angel of Healing. Ask him to illuminate the areas that could undergo a quick healing in order for you gain more power to tackle the deeper pains. He will only be too happy to oblige. However, I can pretty much guarantee he will first suggest Chamuel, The Angel of Self Love. Loving yourself first is truly the first step towards healing. Knowing you were a victim, but not responsible. 

You may start by placing your hands over your heart and breathing. Meditate in this position and focus on your breath. Focus on your soul beating; your heartbeat. Focus on the love that is there. Many feel a pair of hands/wings gently placed over theirs. A beautiful crystal that will assist is Rose Quartz, the premier stone of Self Love. Its gentle energies will hold you close without suffocating you. YOU chose healing, not to be identified by the act.


Pain is real. We can let it define us or we can chose to learn from it and grow in power and knowing that better is what we deserve.

What do you chose?

Do it for YOU.

Not anybody else.





You are so very loved.


1 comment

  • Mary Pat

    I am new to this website. I was referred by a dear friend because I lost my beloved son Griffin in July. This is the most beautifully written article. Exactly how I feel about my grief and pain and journey back to loving life and having him always in my heart

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