I had a lovely life, still do, but let's go on a journey of sorts; backwards.
I had a lovely life; amazing husband (still do 33+ years and counting), amazing children and more. I was the Soccer Mom as society calls it, although I must admit I stayed home where it was warm snuggled by the fire many a day when she played soccer and let my husband 'participate'.
I had a lovely life, friends, community, and more. I thought it had a direction.
BUT I wasn't happy. Not deep down. It felt too fluffy; not in the warm, fuzzy way, but in the superficial sort of way. No matter what activity I became engaged in, it didn't feel fulfilling. Wasn't sure what could be missing, but deep down knew something was.
My Soul Stirred.
I began to internally whine and there may have been some wine involved.
I was restless. I was becoming unhappy in my own skin. My friends at the moment began to annoy me and support was never there any more. There was ample gossiping and sharing of family dynamics, but ...
Having felt for many a year like a round peg/square hole or visa versa, I pondered is this how friends are suppose to act? So attached I stayed.
Miserable I became.
I ventured out, alone. Went to a Women's Fair at a local hospital and it's the first time I recall feeling energy in my hands. I was truly blown away and then some. THIS the soul whispered.
'This, what?' I questioned...
Keep going it whispered back.
Not very helpful, but kept chugging along.
Took a Reiki training class. Left feeling less than and didn't venture back for over two years. Two years! Why? The teacher felt quite ego centered I did a lot for you today, be gentle on yourself. and that sort of thing. Internal dialogues ran amuck akin to If this is what this 'Love and Light' stuff is all about, they can keep it! To this day, that term rarely exits my mouth or via my fingers in writing format.
My soul stirred some more and eventually found a different teacher to continue Reiki. Meanwhile reading commenced regarding crystals, angels and who knew such a thing as an Ascended Master existed!
My Soul Stretched
As the knowledge grew, my energy matched it. Friendships were dwindling; let's face it they weren't supportive in the truest sense and it was better to 'go it alone' than to explain myself all the time or clam up in an effort to keep the peace and play along.
The angels, The Gang as I now call them, came a knockin' in earnest. I subscribed to magazines and purchased books. Took a little class here, a little class there.
Still I pondered.
Then I heard a word, empath. Empath? Little did I know then I was and AM an empath! I knew sensitivity was high on the charts, but to actually feel what another was going through - there's a word for that and an actual thing?
So all those times when I would call another and ask what's wrong it's because I knew something was up! To this day, my husband downplays this gift when it concerns him; but he has learned he cannot evade those questions forever, for I do know!
As these pieces; empath, angels, energy and more started to settle in, my soul did a little happy dance. You might even say a quick Polka! One can only imagine their dialogue, but pretty sure it went something like:
Quick! She's waking up! Close those old doors. You gotta kick this one in the butt a bit more for she's a bit afraid of what she sees and hears! Start sending her confirmation events so she knows she's not going crazy. Hey, Michael - beef up her protection, she's going to need where she is destined to go. Metatron, open up her Soul Chakra a bit more to help her remember and keep her motivated.
And so on. Beef up the protection he did; thank you Big Mike. Thank you Metatron for keeping me focused and helping me to remember. Thank you Pinky for your impromptu re-introduction and our incessant dialogue. Thank you ALL for being there.
The Soul Awoke
Just to be sure I stayed focused, we moved. Moved not only to a different town, but different state. How would a move keep one focused? I had no friends to derail me with activities. Our children were now adults, so all those after school events were unnecessary. I ventured out a bit, taught a few classes, began conducting readings at stores and folks kept coming back!
Hmmmm... maybe I was onto my soul's calling!
The energies settled enough that there was now no turning back. I loved what I was doing; not with international results (yet), but I loved helping folks remember too.
Soooo they had us move ... again. Yes to a different town in a different state once again. However, this time I did know a few folks in this locale, but the metaphysical isn't, to this day, warmly embraced by many of the locals. So shut mouthed I stayed, but wrote, wrote voraciously, created the oracle deck, wrote more, fine tuned things, began to vend at a variety of metaphysical shows in the region and tested the waters beyond the region.
We were lovingly received.
Hmmmm... I can do what I love and make a living? Who knew?
Now here to stay
Guess what happened then? You'd be right if you said we moved, yep again. To a different town in a different state. Just like you, I keep striving for better; a more true version of me. While I love getting 'angelfied' for metaphysical shows, TV and more, I equally love hanging out in yoga pants and getting muddy walking through the woods.
I've learned in this soul awakening that there are indeed many aspects of me, just like you. It's time they all came out to play. I've learned that not one version is better than the other, for they are all part of me. Certainly some are still hidden - even from me, but now I am more willing than ever to discover them, love on them and well simply BE me.
Will you say YES to you? Let me know how I can help; for that is one of the many things I LOVE doing.
Metatron's Channeled Mandala